We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
