first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
