dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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