He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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