16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
