How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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