I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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