Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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