Kareoke will never be a sober sport
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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