Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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