Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
