His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
