when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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