And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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