I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
