She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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