going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
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Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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