Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
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We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
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If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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