The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
