They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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