She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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