thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
