when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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