check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
