i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
