I seem to have left my pride at pride
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I lost the right to judge tonight
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
