so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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