there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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