so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
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