dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
