just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize