Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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