it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
