The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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