can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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