we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
