i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
