so explain again why im purple
no
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
