I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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