bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
this is an emotional support booty call
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
