I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
