Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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