A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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