Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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