Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize