Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
