With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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