My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
