just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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