we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
