I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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