why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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