your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize