We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
