You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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