You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I can't turn off my feet"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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