I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
