the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
