PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
