he told me I talked like a deaf person
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
